


It All Started With A Cow

by xanderbot13



Series: Photographic Memories [3]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Pre-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 11:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16575518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderbot13/pseuds/xanderbot13
Summary: At 9S' request, 2B opens up about her past and allows him to see all of her memories with him:2B reminisces about the first time they tried ice cream together with people she now understands were her friends.





	It All Started With A Cow

**Author's Note:**

> This one's mostly for my bf. He gave me the prompt "ice cream" so ofc I proceeded to think of the stupidest scenario I could come up with in order to oblige him. Cuz that's just the kind of bf I am. There's lot of weird references that only he might get, so if you don't understand something, don't worry about it. Alright, enjoy.

It’s been a few weeks since 2B started sharing her memories with 9S. At one point, after showing him a few select memories, she pushed herself and decided to start from day one out of her own volition. She first warned him, and asked if it was alright even if he might not like what he sees. Eager to know their entire history together, he accepted, of course. He watched himself live and die at least four times in a monotonous sea of war and destruction, with the new knowledge that 2B had actually cared for him throughout all of it and felt for each of his deaths, no matter if the time they spent together had been long or short lived. The third time, she shed the first tear for him. 

It was extremely grueling for her to willingly replay all of it, but she did it, for his sake. He appreciated her effort, but he noticed how burdensome it was for her, and the vivid, raw memories they had seen today of his fourth death were pushing her to the edge of another break down, so he asked her to stop. Despite her pain, she refused. 

 

“No. You need them back, Nines. It’s the  _least_  I can do. Stop worrying about me,” she says through her teeth, looking down at her shaking hands, clenched tightly around the hem of her skirt. 

“2B, I said _no_ ,” he reaches for her hands and disentangles them from her skirt gently. “You don’t have to do this, and I’d rather never know the rest than to see you like this every time we come across a painful memory,” he says in a more gentle tone, holding both of her hands in his and stroking them with his thumbs. 

“ _I can take it_ ,” she squeezes his hands.

“I  _know_  you can, but I don’t want you to,” he squeezes them back. “We didn’t make it out alive just for you to keep torturing yourself. Please, just...let’s stop here, alright?”

She shakes her head, clenching her jaw. 

“Baby, please-”

 _“Don’t_.” She says in a strained voice. “Stop it. Stop calling me that. Stop being so kind to me. Even after watching all those things I did to you, you still-” she cuts herself off, biting her lip and fighting to hold herself back. “...Why?” She whispers.

“Because I know you didn’t want to,” He mutters in a soft, mellow tone as he entwines his fingers with hers. “Because I know you had no choice. Because none of it was your fault. Because I know you, and I know you’re not a monster like you say you are. Because when I’m in there, I can feel everything you felt and I know how much it hurt you. Because you’re kind and gentle with me too. Because you’re precious to me...because I love you, 2B,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to hers.

A soft, shaky breath escapes her lips as she slowly peers up at him. Hers eyes are brimming with unshed tears, but the rest of her face looks serene again. 

Sometimes she misses the comfort of her visor, wearing it at all times. Less as a tool, and more as a mask to keep all her secrets hidden away. The emotions in her eyes cannot betray her when they’re not visible. Her tears go unseen. Now she feels exposed. Naked. Vulnerable.  But she trusts him, and expressing emotions is not a crime anymore. So she blinks, and lets them fall. 

He’s there to catch them as he reaches up and wipes them gently with his thumb. He’s _always_ there to catch them. 

“And I love  _you_. That’s why...I have to do this,” she mumbles.

He lets out a long sigh. “I won’t be able to convince you otherwise, will I?”

She shakes her head.

He looks at her through weary eyes for a moment, before placing his hands on her tense shoulders and massaging them. “We should at least take a break. I can tell it’s wearing you down, so...how about we go take a walk? We could, I dunno...go pick flowers and rest by the waterfall in the forest, before dinner. What do you say?”

She considers it for a moment. “Alright.”

He smiles softly and caresses her silky hair. “Okay, then. Let’s get our things,” he plants tiny kisses on her forehead and on the tip of her nose before he stands up and pulls her up on her feet. 

 

Minutes later, they sit in the soft grass, near the waterfall. Mist sprinkles their faces as they watch the clouds above and the light seeping through the treetops as the branches creak and move with the gentle breeze. 9S weaves flowers into her hair as he chatters on about little things, stealing her away from the storm inside her head. 

“Just this last one, and...alright, done,” he smiles at his finished job. “You look so beautiful this way,” he says, admiring her flowery hair. 

She smiles bashfully and glances down for a moment to take his hand in hers. “Thank you.”

He holds her hand in his and brings it up to his lips to kiss it. They smile at each other as their eyes meet and lie down on their backs as they gaze up at the clouds above, breathing in the crisp air of the forest. The air is cold, but the rays of sun that sneak through the branches of trees soak them with warmth. They simply lie there for a moment, in peaceful silence, and listen to the mellifluous symphony of the forest. The sound of the waterfall, the chirping birds, the rustling of leaves in the wind. 

He turns his head to look at her and sees a slight frown creasing her forehead, marring her peaceful expression from a moment ago. 

He strokes her hand with his thumb. “What are you thinking of?”

She raises her brow as she turns to look at him. “Mm? Nothing.”

He looks at her skeptically. “2B.”

She cuts their eye contact, looking away. He waits.

“Do you think...do you think it’s alright. That we get to live like this, with all the peace in the world and little to no risks, after all this time? Do we deserve what we have right now? D-do _I?_ Is it even fair that I get to experience happiness, when........and...why just us and not...” she sighs. “I just think...what if we messed up? What if we could have done things differently? I...” she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

He turns on his side and lays his head on her shoulder. “I don’t know, 2B. I don’t know if we  _deserve_  this, I don’t know if we could’ve done anything different, I don’t know if we could’ve saved more people who deserved saving...I just know that, I’m glad we’re here. I’m glad you’re with me,” he squeezes her hand and sighs. “I think about that too, you know...about _them_...”

She snakes her arm beneath him and wraps it around his back, pulling him closer. Her other hand reaches up to stroke his cheek with the tips of her fingers, sending tiny shivers down his spine. 

“Do you miss them?” He asks, putting his arm around her belly. 

“I...” she shakes her head. “It makes no sense. I was never really close to anyone, but still, I find myself longing for their presence. Wishing they had survived...wanting to see them again. Does that count as ‘missing’?”

“It does,” he breathes.

She stays silent for a moment.

“I want ice cream,” she whispers after a while.

He lifts his head up and looks at her with a raised brow.

“What?”

She looks up at him with a forlorn expression. “I want ice cream.”

His eyebrows knit further together in a puzzled expression. “Um...well...we could ask someone back at camp if they know how to make it?”

She pulls him back into her chest and snuggles him tightly. “That would be nice.”

“Why the sudden craving?”

She lefts out a breathy laugh. “It’s a long story.”

“We have all the time in the world,” he shifts his head to look up at her.

She smiles softy. “Hm...maybe I should just show you.”

He breaks into a wide smile. “Yes, yes, yes please,” he says as he wiggles his way up to press his forehead against hers.

She giggles at his childlike enthusiasm. “Alright, alright."

"Ready?”

“Yeah,” she closes her eyes.

“Okay. Hacking in.”

 

* * *

 

Just as many other old world delicacies, it all started with a cow. 

 

2B stares at the large, black and white bovine before her in bewilderment. It stares back at her with a vacant look. She wonders if it was as confused to be here as she was to see it here. 

 _“In gratitude of your heroic actions in defeating the deranged fiend, we shall gift you with our most treasured creature,”_ Says the small biped beside the animal. 

She turns to 9S, but he only shrugs. “Er...thanks, but, you can keep it,” she replies.

_“If you do not wish to take our offering, we will sacrifice it to our gods in order to satisfy their blood lust and show our sincerest gratitude for having sent you, our saviours, to deliver us from evil and rid us from the creature of our nightmares so we can finally live in peace but in order to complete the ritual we will have to the draw blood from our-”_

“Alright, alright, we get it. No one has to die, we’ll just take the cow,” 9S interrupts the machine’s monologue. 

The machine bows before the two of them. _“At last, our offering shall bring us peace! We are eternally grateful, oh, brave androids!”_

All the other machines behind it mimic their leader. _“We are eternally grateful!”_

_"All hail our lord Knack!"_

 

_"All hail our lord Knack!"_

_"All hail our lord Knack!"_

_"All hail our lord Knack!"_

 

_“All hail the Glow Cloud!”_

 

_“All hail the Glow Cloud!”_

_“All hail the Glow Cloud!”_

_“All hail the Glow Cloud!”_

 

They begin chanting in an incomprehensible language and performing some kind of ritualistic dance, right in the middle of the wide lobby area of what once was an enormous 5 star hotel. 2B and 9S stare at them, dumbfounded and at a loss for words.

“...Let’s go, 9S.”

“...Right. Wait, what about the cow?”

“I don’t know, it’s yours now. You deal with it,” she says, already turning back towards the exit. 

“That’s not fair, it’s yours too, they said so!” He complains as he walks up to the animal and beckons it to come forward. “Come on, cow, let’s go,” he says, pulling lightly on the rope attached to its collar. 

2B watches in silent amusement as he tries and tries to get it to move, but it won’t budge. She finally decides to lend him a hand as she pulls out some animal bait and offers it to the cow. Instantly, it trots up to her and takes it from her outstretched hand. Even through her glove, she can feel the slimy texture of the creature’s tongue and she shudders. When it finishes eating, it nudges her arm with its nose. She takes a step back, grimacing.

9S walks up to her and laughs. “Seems like it likes you.”

She shakes her head. “Just bring it. We’ll see what we can do with it once we get to the Resistance Camp.”

“Roger,” he takes the rope in his hand once again as they begin walking towards the exit, leaving behind the machines in the reverie of their strange ritual. 

The way back is relatively painless, except for the occasional moments when the creature refuses to move and they have to coax it with more animal bait. 

“This is getting exhausting,” 9S sighs. 

Before he can complain any further, his Pod blares out an incoming transmission from the Bunker. 801S’ face pops up as he accepts it.

“Hey Nines, yours truly here. I got the data you asked for last week, I sent it to your- is that a cow?” The boy in the screen gets up closer to get a better view. Now only his nose and chin are visible.

9S chuckles. “Yeah, it’s a long story. Oh, and thanks. Took you long enough.”

“Can I take a closer look?” He asks, completely ignoring his remark.

“Fine...Pod, point the camera towards the cow so he can see.”

“Affirmative,” 153 says as she floats higher upwards to focus the camera on said animal.

“Impressive. I’ve never seen a cow! Only in pictures. Where did you even find it? What are you gonna do with it? Does it have a name?”

“Hey, one at a time,” he laughs. “We got it from some weird machines that gave it to us for taking out a rampant goliath that was terrorizing their space. Crazy, huh? A machine taking out other machines. They’re so stupid, they can’t even tell the enemy apart from their own. But hey, at least we have a cow.”

The other laughs. “That’s wild! Hey...do you know what you’re gonna do with it yet?”

“Well, uh...we were planning to go to the Resistance Camp first and see if they know what we could do,” he says, beckoning 153 over so he was face to face with him again.

“Well in that case, I think I have an idea. I’ll make it a surprise.”

2B turns to see the boy in the screen smirking. He's not up to anything good, is he?

“Um...okay? What do you suggest we do?” 9S asks.

“When you get to the Resistance Camp, ask for a guy named Dunkey and give him the cow. Leave the rest to me,” his mischievous tone is unsettling to her. 

She hopes he’s not planning anything weird.

“What? That’s it?” 9S asks.

“If I tell you the rest, it won’t be a surprise anymore, pretty boy,” he says, pressing his index finger to his lips.

9S groans. “Are you sure about this? I mean, I know it’s just a cow, but I know you and I know what you’re capable of. So...”

“Don’t worry, I got everything under control. You know I’d never lie to you, right?”

“You would.”

801S pouts. “You don’t trust me?”

“I do...just not with everything...”

“And why is that?”

“Let’s see,” he sighs, “you’ve dyed my hair neon pink, you’ve changed the pitch of my voice on more than one occasion, you thought it would be funny to change _certain_  settings on my you-know-what for a whole day  _knowing_  I’d be out on a mission, and you’ve messed with my Pod’s settings so it would call me ‘daddy’ instead of my name. So I think I have reason enough to distrust you,” he says, crossing his arms.

“Alright, that’s true. Buuut, I also always do my very best with your maintenance so your body’s performance will be top notch, I give you upgrades and other stuff for free, which I never do for anyone, I designed new chips tailored just for you, I lend you all my books, I let you talk my ear off every time you come by, I play games with you whenever I have the time, I let you stay over whenever-”

“Okay, okay, I think you’ve said enough,” he says, holding his hands up. “Fine, you’re right. You do a lot for me, and I appreciate it. A lot. But I am not a fan of your pranks. And I sure hope this little plan of yours isn’t one.”

He lets out a breathy laugh through his nose. “It’s not, I promise, Nines. I’m sure you’ll love it. Just do what I say, and then give me a couple days to have everything ready. When are you coming back to the Bunker?”

9S lets out a puff of air through his mouth. “Uh...if things go right, probably in about two days, after we finish with our current missions. Why?”

He smiles. “Perfect, I’ll see you here then. Take care, sunshine.” 

“Wait, 801S-” 

He ends the transmission before 9S can say anything else. 

9S groans and kicks a random pebble on the ground as he walks. “I sure hope he’s not planning something crazy. With him I can never tell if it’s going to be something excessively sweet, or just downright outrageous.”

“I suppose we’ll find out in a couple days,” 2B mutters, feeling uneasy about trusting the other scanner’s secret plan, but eager to get rid of the nuisance behind them. 

She doesn’t dislike the cow. She has never seen a cow either, and seeing one for the first time was quite a surprise. But she’s never taken care of an animal before and keeping it for herself is a responsibility she can do without. And the smell. Specially the smell. It's not unpleasant, just. Strange. Besides, what do cows even eat on a regular basis? She doesn’t give it much thought, as they would get rid of it soon enough. 

They finally make it to the Resistance Camp and ask Kaiser, the leader of the camp in this area, about the guy 801S mentioned. He guides them through the common area and into one of the buildings at the back as they try to ignore all the odd stares. The cow casually strolls behind them, occasionally stopping to munch on a patch of grass. Or steal someone’s hat and proceed to chew on it just to discard it two seconds later. When they arrive at the building, an absolutely average-looking man wearing donkey ears and shades greets them.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” 

“Hey, Dunkey. The YoRHa androids wanted to talk to you,” Kaiser says. “I’ll come by later to check on the supplies,” he waves as he walks off. 

“Alright!” He replies. “Ah, yes, I’ve been waiting for you guys. Got a message from the Bunker. You’re Nancy and Toby, right?” He says cheerfully.

“I-it’s _9S_ ,” he clarifies. 2B could see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. “And she’s 2B.”

“Right, sorry. I forgot you YoRHa have weird names. Anyway, it’s about the cow, right? One of my clients contacted me about it, said it was important.”

“801S?”

“Yep, that guy.”

“Yeah, he uh..told us we could just leave it here and that he’d take care of the rest,” 9S replies, playing with the rope in his hand.

“That’s right! Just leave it here, and don’t worry about anything else. Here,” he extends his hand. 

9S steps forward and gives him the rope. “So uh...that’s it? Do we have to pay for anything or...?”

“Nah, he’s taking care of all that, he gave me all the juicy details and all. I’ll just do my job and do what he asked me to do. You guys go back out and have fun beating up machines,” he says with a cheeky smile.

“Wait. So you know what he’s planning?” 2B intervenes. 

“Yeah, but he said it was a surprise, so I’m not allowed to tell you guys, sorry. You’ll just have to find out within a couple days.”

9S groans. “Fine. We’ll get going then. Thank you,” he waves before turning back. 

“You’re welcome. See ya later!” He waves.

 

The next two days go by slowly as they complete every mundane task Command or the Resistance asks of them. Fetching materials, fixing broken things, taking out another android-devouring machine and almost dying in the process, fetching more materials...It’s all as exciting as it sounds. Until finally, they finish everything and are free to go home. 

Despite the exhaustion, 9S immediately jumps off his flight unit when they reach the hangar at the Bunker and breaks into a run. 2B watches him puzzled as he takes off and follows suit.

“9S, what’s the hurry?” 

“I need to see whatever 801S was talking about! Something about the cow, remember?”

“Yes, but...”

He turns back and smiles. “Let’s go, 2B!” In a flash, he takes her wrist and guides her down the hall and into the elevator leading into the Maintenance Area. 

801S is at his usual spot, working at the terminal, running his shop, and multitasking on four different hologram screens. He’s wearing his visor this time. Their loud running footsteps announce their entrance.

“Please, no running in the terminal room!” he calls as he turns around. “The equipment is n-” he gasps. “Nines!” The widest smile spreads on his face as he drops everything and runs to meet him halfway. 

“Hey! I’m here now,” he smiles as he slows down. “So what’s the surpri-Ah!” 

Without a warning, he launches himself at 9S and twirls him around in his arms. “You’re back! And in one piece!” He stops and squeezes him tight.

2B stops and stares in mild amusement. She almost smiles at the blatant display of affection, but something sinks inside of her. She can’t tell what it is exactly. She just wishes she could...no. It would be wrong...

“I missed you,” 801S mutters with his face still buried in 9S’ shoulder.

“It’s only been a few weeks,” he chuckles, returning the embrace gently. “And we talked two days ago.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen you here in so long,” he squeezes once more and pulls away, smiling. “I’m glad you’re unharmed for once.”

9S grins softly. “Yeah. Me too.”

“So,” he looks back and forth between him and 2B. “Are you two ready?”

“Not really,” 2B mumbles under her breath.

“Yes,” 9S nods. 

“Follow me then,” he says as he starts for the exit. 

They follow him into the elevator. Once inside, he presses a button on the little screen on the side to go one level up. 

“Let’s go,” he grins as the elevator stops and guides them out the door and down the long hallway ahead. They stop outside a closed sliding door with a sign that says ‘Lab 4’ in bold. 

“Alright,” he slowly turns around to face them and bites his lip. “Promise you won’t freak out.”

“Just. What. Exactly. Did you do?” 9S asks with caution in his voice.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, I promise. Just...don’t ever tell the Commander about this, and we’ll be fine.”

2B tenses up and tightens her jaw.

“Oh for the love of- 801S! What did you do?”

He simply smiles. “You’ll see,” he turns back towards the door. “Here we go, then,” he says as he takes a step forward and allows the doors to slide open. 

The lab is absolutely normal looking. It’s as pristine and utterly plain as they come. Everything, from the diverse equipment, the chemicals and other questionable substances in jars and flasks on the shelves, to the tables with an assortment of materials look just like the kind of things you would expect to see in a plain, normal lab. Everything...except for the huge cow standing in the middle of the room munching on a lab coat. 


End file.
